02.11.2010

Well, I sure did get back to business! In fact, I just got back from my second *free* business class at the New York Public Library. This truly is the greatest city in the world. There's one class a month and they are all geared towards the ultimate goal of creating a business plan. The business plans are submitted in June and then judged. The winner gets $15,000 towards starting their own business. Chris, good friend of mine, and I have been talking about starting a business together for a long time. Winning the money would be totally cool, but we're just excited to finally be writing a plan.

For the last seven months, I've worked every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday from 12-10pm (except for my awesome Christmas vacation!). When I received my schedule this week, I was scheduled the same days, but from 4-10. My manager had completely cut 12 hours out of my work week. Of course, when I got to work yesterday I found out the guy who is in charge of the schedule was out all week. I e-mailed him asking why, and he simply replied that he wanted to get rid of double shifts. Every day I have to hold myself back from giving my two weeks notice. It's always one thing or another. I have to find something new.

And I've been looking. And I've been bitter that I didn't pick and choose paths that would drive me right into a specific, stable job. I worked my ass off through six years of college for a degree in a field where even the experts "aren't in it for the money." I don't mind having a full-time job and designing on the side, but the full-time job has to be bearable. I have skills, but they are all vague and underdeveloped. And everyone in New York City wants to hire an expert. I love theatre, I really really do. But I've got to find a stable job that enables me to do it. One that is not as horrible as BW3s. On the way home from the business seminar, I drew a couple of little cartoons inspired by my feelings. They were little figures who had one highly specialized, machine-like body part that was so ridiculously developed, it rendered the rest of their body useless. Just drawing these silly little guys started to make me feel a little bit better. It's about taking action when you're unhappy, right? So I took a picture. Now they make me smile.

I didn't send out the package today. As I was wrapping each individual gift, I realized that I was sending my nephew five things and my mother two. It's my mom's birthday, and the stuff for my nephew is "just because" sort of stuff. I wrap presents with newspaper and magazines, and I saw an image that reminded me of my mom, so I decided to take the time to make her a collage tonight, frame it tomorrow and then send the package. My friend Megan makes beautiful collages and I've been wanting to try one. In the midst of all the billions of things I should be doing, or have to be doing, I'm going to do something I want to do.

This blog is very personal. I didn't send it out to friends and relatives because it's for me, to track the changes I want to make in my life. I'm thinking about spreading the word, though, since it is a daily update on my life and I do have trouble keeping in touch with all the people I love so much. (I know, I know!) My cousin Katie (well, Collin's cousin) starting reading my blog through a link on gmail and she thought it was inspiring. At the risk of sounding like an idiot, the fact that I inspired her was inspiring to me. Maybe it's time to get some feedback. Maybe it's time for some support and encouragement. Maybe it's time to make others smile. Maybe it's time to inspire each other. That's what life is all about, isn't it?